Saying “Yes!” to Fair Havens is one of the best things we’ve done.
Elaine and Dave have been together for more than 50 years. They met at work – Elaine was a police cadet, and Dave was an officer stationed there. Today, the couple have two children and one grandchild.
In 2008, Elaine was diagnosed with Progressive Multiple Sclerosis. Over time, her condition progressed to the point where she lost all feeling from the waist down and needed specialist equipment to get around.
Dave became her sole carer. For years, he managed everything himself.
Two years ago, Dave started looking for somewhere that could give him a bit of respite, but nothing seemed suitable until someone suggested contacting Fair Havens.
“When they said to phone the hospice, I thought, I hope she’s not going to die soon,” Dave admits. “But I called them, and it was an eye-opener. Now, the hospice is one of the best things that has happened to us.”
Fair Havens offered Elaine a stay on the Inpatient Unit to give them both some respite.
“That was the best thing that ever happened for me, and for him,” Elaine says. “He needed the break.”
But the support didn’t stop there. Hospice care is about so much more than end of life care – it’s about supporting people to live well for longer. Elaine joined the Tai Chi sessions – run by the physiotherapist to keep moving, while Dave attended the Carers Course.
“It’s nice to meet different people all in a similar situation. It makes you realise you’re not alone,” Elaine says.
Then, just before Christmas last year, everything changed again.
Dave had an accident and ended up in hospital. Their children stepped in to help care for Elaine before she moved temporarily into a care home. But before she could return home, Elaine developed sepsis and was admitted to hospital.
“At the time we were told that she was going to die,” Dave says. “So, she was brought to Fair Havens for end-of-life care just before Christmas.”
Elaine spent five weeks on the Inpatient Unit. Slowly and steadily, the team got the infection under control.
“She came here for end-of-life care. But the care was so good, she is still here today.”
“What I really remember is being in a nice room, and Dave coming in regularly with our assistance dog, Fabio,” Elaine recalls.
The family could visit freely, and over Christmas the care never changed.
“It’s like a cross between a hospital and a five-star hotel. Somebody comes around – ‘What would you like for lunch today? Can we get you something?’ It’s the little things like that that make all the difference.”
Dave remembers Christmas Day especially clearly.
“Everyone got taken down to the lounge for Christmas dinner. One patient wanted to come, but they were too poorly, so they brought them down in their bed. We were all smiling and happy, chatting together – and I thought, if that’s their last Christmas, what a positive memory.”
“The care they provided over that whole period was brilliant, but it’s no different to the standard of care they provide any other time – everybody goes above and beyond. It’s a different experience from a hospital.”
Then when Elaine returned home, the Fair Havens Community Team began to visit the couple to support them at home too.
“For 10 years, I’d been doing everything. But I really don’t think I could even do it now. Fair Havens has helped us carry on.” Dave says.
“Without Havens Hospices, I honestly don’t know what we’d do,” Elaine added.
And for anyone who still thinks a hospice is only about dying, the couple has a simple message:
“There are lots of good folk out there doing their bit, and the hospice puts that into perspective. Fair Havens has been one of the best things that’s happened to us since the diagnosis.”
“This wasn’t our plan for retirement. But Fair Havens means we aren’t alone.”
To find out more about how you or someone you know would benefit from the care at Fair Havens, click here.
If you would like to donate to Fair Havens please click here.
Published in 2026
Elaine“It’s like a cross between a hospital and a five-star hotel. Somebody comes around – ‘What would you like for lunch today? Can we get you something?’ It’s the little things like that that make all the difference.”
