Around four years ago, Pauline, 82, began to feel unwell, with doctors initially putting her symptoms down to long COVID. After trying medication that didn’t help, she was referred for further tests, which revealed she had ovarian cancer. While not curable, the condition is being kept under control with chemotherapy, and she attends regular three-monthly check-ups.

Earlier this year, her palliative care team suggested a referral to Havens Hospices, and she was put in touch with Fair Havens. The Hub Care Team visited her at home to find out how best to support her and suggested she join the HOPE Course (Help Overcoming Problems Effectively). The six-week programme is an interactive, group-based course designed to help people living with an incurable condition manage the day-to-day impact of their illness and rediscover their own strengths.

Speaking about the experience, Pauline says: “It was very good, and I’m trying to practise what I’ve learned, including trying to be grateful every day.

“It helped to explain that a lot of your feelings everybody else has, and how to deal with them, – how to gee yourself up, stop yourself going down a spiral, but to come back up and be grateful for what you have, which I am.

“I enjoyed it, and it was lovely to meet other people. We have made a WhatsApp group, which is nice.”

Pauline is now attending the Elephant in the Room group at Fair Havens, a supportive space that helps people have conversations around death and dying, providing useful information and therapeutic activities along the way. Each session gives attendees the opportunity to listen and share their thoughts and feelings, exploring themes including living with a diagnosis and change, end of life care, and what death and dying mean to them personally.

“In the first session, we spoke about what we would want when things become final, to pick out how we want to be treated, which I thought was very good.

“We also watched a video which gives you a bit more of an insight into dying, which was extremely interesting. It explained that what we see is probably not what the person is going through, like they’re asleep or unconscious, but they don’t know it. I felt that was quite reassuring.”

To find out more about how you or someone you know would benefit from the care at Fair Havens, click here.

If you would like to donate to Fair Havens please click here.

Published in 2026