Grief is a natural response to loss and there is no right or wrong way to feel. Everyone experiences grief differently and will move through the process at their own pace. 

There are no set stages or phases of grief, however there are common and natural emotional and physical responses that can be experienced following the death of someone close to us, which include: 

• Shock and disbelief
• Confusion
• Anger
• Guilt
• Physical symptoms such as a knot or a feeling of emptiness in the pit of your stomach, shakiness, tightness in the throat or chest, breathlessness, aches and pains (including chest pains and headaches), fatigue, restlessness, tension, upset stomach, and appetite and sleep disturbances. 

These are common physical responses to grief, however if you have any concerns it is important to speak to your GP. 

Children grieve in different ways to adults and their grief will vary according to their age and development. You can help them by talking as openly and honestly as you are able to and being ready to listen whenever they feel ready to discuss their feelings. 

Try to avoid euphemisms such as “gone to sleep” or “lost” as these messages can be confusing to children and can generate fears in the future. You can support your child/ren to explore their feelings through creative ways such as storytelling or art. 

Saying goodbye is as important to children as it is to adults and if they want to attend or help plan the funeral, they should be supported to do so. It is important, however, that the decision is theirs and different children from the same family may make different decisions.

Havens Hospices have a dedicated Children and Young People’s bereavement team who can support with resources for children and young people and can provide group or one to one bereavement support when the time is right for the young person. You can also access a range of free resources and support from Winston's Wish.

Be kind to yourself – grief can be very tiring, so it is important that you (and those close to you) don’t expect too much too soon.  Don’t expect to be able to function as normal or be as organised as you normally are.

Take care of yourself – allow for periods of rest, remember to eat and give yourself time to grieve.

Try to be open about how you are feeling, talking through what has happened and how you are feeling with someone you trust can sometimes bring relief.

Accept offers of time and support from those that care about you – time spent with people who care about you is an important part of getting through this difficult time.

Do things you enjoy – such as walking, gardening or maintaining a hobby – it gives you some respite from the hard work of grief.  It is still okay for you to find joy and pleasure in life and living even though you are grieving.

Bereavement is one of the hardest things anyone must face in life, but finding a lasting tribute to remember a loved one can be a great comfort.  

We offer several ways you can donate in memory of a loved one and by doing so help Havens Hospices continue to be there ‘Making every day count.’ Click here to find out more.