Bill and his wife Kaye have been together for 30 years and have five children between them. They have lived in Blackpool, Spain, and now Southend.

Three years ago, Bill was diagnosed with cancer, which has now spread to his bones. He came to Fair Havens for symptom management and to help control his pain as he was struggling with his medication regime at home. His dosage wasn’t right, he was in a lot of pain and was confused and hallucinating.

Bill was unaware of the hospice – it hadn’t been mentioned to him. He found out about Havens Hospices through one of the charity’s Dying Matters events at the Ironworks in Southend this year, which gave people the opportunity to talk about death, dying, and grief.

At the event, Bill sat with a group of people, talking about their experiences, which made him feel understood. He’d never spoken to anyone about the end of his life and what that would be like. While there, he struck up a connection with one of our lead nurses, Janet, who put his mind at rest.

Afterwards, Fair Havens called Bill and invited him to visit the hospice with his support worker to see how they could support him.

Bill has now been at Fair Havens for two weeks. His wife Kaye walks down to the hospice twice a day to see him, spending the day and then evening with him. Sometimes, they go down to the Bistro for lunch together.

He said, “If I hadn’t spoken to Janet that afternoon during Dying Matters Week, I’d never have come to Fair Havens – I didn’t know anything about it. I built up a relationship with her immediately, trusting her convinced me to come to the hospice.”

Even once his symptoms are under control and he can go back home, he wants to come back to Fair Havens to ‘die with dignity.’

“I hadn’t thought about it before, but now I have experienced what it’s like at Fair Havens; I want to die here because I know I’ll die with my dignity.

“I worry about my family – I want them all to be okay. I know that staying at Fair Havens will help my wife, too.

Bill grew up in Barnardo’s in East London and was really surprised by how caring the hospice is.

“I’ve never experienced care like this anywhere. No one has ever sat down next to my bed and talked to me as much as the nurses do here. They have time to sit down and chat with me, and they really care.

“I felt like I was wasting the Care Team’s time having someone with me all day because I was unsteady and falling over – I thought they had more important work to be doing. But they’ve given me independence, so I can still do some things for myself.”

Bill can press his buzzer anytime for round-the-clock care, like additional medication each hour to help control his pain.

At Havens Hospices, we always start by asking what matters to the individual, listening carefully so we can ensure we tailor our care and support to each person.

Bill loves cars, motorbikes, and reggae music. He often buys CDs, so the Facilities Team got him an extension lead so he could play his CDs from anywhere in his room. He also loves full-fat Devon’s cow’s milk, which is only sold in certain stores, so the nurses got some just for him.

“I haven’t really had an appetite and went eight days without eating much. But the choice of food we can have is great. The nurses asked me what I liked and spoke to Fair Havens’ Bistro they made me jerk chicken, rice, peas for dinner, and a night snack of marmalade on toast. They did it all, especially for me.”

To find out more about how you or someone you know would benefit from the care at Fair Havens, click here. 

If you would like to donate to Fair Havens please click here. 

Published in 2024