michelle copley

A picture of Michelle Copley

‘no false promises’

Richard fought cancer with humour, positivity and hope. When it became too difficult to care for Richard at home, his wife Michelle asked him a simple question. In a moment of clarity, his answer was a turning point in their journey.

“Richard was becoming more and more disorientated and confused. I still expected him to be this in control human being who knew what he was talking about and it was hard to accept that he wasn’t, so it was becoming a battle. When I asked him, 'do you want to go to Fair Havens?’ He answered, 'Yes' emphatically. It was the most lucid thing he’d said.

“I needed someone to explain exactly what was going on. We had doctors saying one thing, nurses saying another; we were here there and everywhere. The Doctor at Fair Havens said there was nothing more to be done. But it was said in a way that wasn’t sugar coated, and it wasn’t cold, but it was the facts - this is what’s happening, this is what we’re going to have to do and this is what will happen from here on in.  She also said everything in front of Richard even though he wasn’t able to communicate at that point. It was only then that I realised we had fought as hard as we could.

“There were no false promises, no ifs, buts or maybes. And that’s what I needed. I needed to know what to expect. I needed to know what would happen and when. That made it easier, in a way.”

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